Step-Mom on a Mine Field

Where has this year gone?!  I cannot believe that Christmas is three months (90 days; 2161 hours; ah, you get the picture) away?!  This year is going to be very special for me since it will be my first Christmas with Woody, and my first Christmas to buy gifts for my stepson, let's use my Mom's nickname for him, Speez.  However, this also leads to many questions I have never had to consider before. . .

Speez is a fascinating young man.  He will be fully preteen next week!  He's creative, analytical, polite, sweet, and just generally kind.  His parents are on opposite ends of the spectrum on almost everything, it seems.  In turn, that makes Speez' mother and I on opposite ends of the spectrum since Woody and I are so in-sync when it comes to everything:  religion, politics, family values.  Yet, through all the differences, Speez has a true goodness about him.  I think we have a lot in common.  My parents divorced when I was younger than he was and they are also complete opposites. 

What is my role in Speez' life?  I believe my primary role is to love and support his father and work to encourage his relationship with his son.  I also believe that my job is to love and support Speez.  He has a Mom, he doesn't need another one.  However, you can never have too many people who love you and want what's best for you. 

How do I get along with someone whom I would never choose as a friend?  I believe my role is to help Woody through the difficult times when he and Speez' mom (let's call her "The Mom") do not see eye-to-eye.  One thing I can never say about my own Mom is that she spoke ill of my biological father in my presence or within earshot of me.  She must have carried an immense burden in holding back, but she did that for me - not for him.  I will also do that for Speez.  Any discord between Woody and "The Mom" should not envelope Speez.  There is not one thing I have in common with "The Mom" EXCEPT Speez - and he takes priority now.  For the rest of my life, our lives are intersected.  My personal preferences about character, politics, and core values do not matter.  It hurts me to the core to hear that she's made comments to Speez that my marriage will fail, but that cannot be my concern.  I will never negate or diminish her vital role in Speez' life. 

How do we make Speez a priority, yet not allow "The Mom" to dictate our schedule?  Woody and I agree that our priority list goes in a specific order:  God, spouse, children, family, friends.  If we don't live our lives according to this order, things become chaotic.  On the flip side, since Speez lives 2 1/2 hours away from us, how do we set a consistent schedule when "The Mom" is unwilling to work with us?  That is a mine field I haven't quite figured out how to traverse just yet.  The only solution I have come up with time and time again, "Let go, let God!".  I pray about it, and after last night, I pray a lot more frequently that God will help me hold my tongue. 

Ten years from now, I hope to be writing about the time when "The Mom" and I didn't agree but came to a mutual decision to put aside our personal preferences to better Speez' life.  In the meantime, I think I will try to save as much money as I can between now and December and buy Speez a better gift than "The Mom". . .  (just kidding!)

2012 NFL

Are you ready for some football?!  Normally, my answer would be a very hearty "YES!" but this year is completely different for me.

As a Kansas City resident, you would think I would proudly wear Chiefs Red - uh, no.  This citified-country girl is a through and through Cheesehead; GO GREEN BAY!!!  Woody is a fanatical Steelers fan.  My house will be in turmoil for the next 4 months!  Let me explain. . .

Yesterday morning, on our way to church, Woody proclaims "The Steelers don't play until 7:20 tonight, so we don't have to rush home after church."  This sounds odd to me, why?  Sundays following church we always go out to lunch.  Following lunch, we had some errands to run (Woody got to pick his own soap fragrance from Bath & Body Works), and it was such a beautiful day I thought we could walk around the outdoor shopping area of the northland, Zona Rosa.  Within 10 minutes of walking, my darling Woody asks why we are walking away from the car on a "football day"?  Good grief!!  Back to the car we went, double time.  Once at home, Woody took up residence in his chair to start the rest of his day.  The funny part, the recliner he sits in his sage green; do you think he realized he was rooting for the Steelers in a green chair?! 

Once the game finally started, Woody was in a great mood - laughing, joking, making small talk - until the 4th quarter.  The pivotal play when the Steelers, who were in the lead, attempted a 2-pt conversion and failed (this would end up being their final scoring drive) and the Denver Broncos charged back down the field to score, and thanks to an interception thrown by "Big Ben" (my own nickname for the Steelers' quarterback), they quickly scored twice.  I had to turn around because I literally heard Woody's happy mood bubble leaking air at an accelerated rate, especially after my involuntary giggles escaped while watching the interception!  His mood didn't recover.

So, now I realize that I may actually have to root for black and gold on game days in order to promote a peaceful, happy environment regardless of the final score.